The Ghana Chronic


You know you are in Ghana when street lights are visible decorations by day and
invisible shadows by night

You know you are in Ghana when ambulances take people leisurely away from
hospitals rather than hurriedly to hospitals

You know you are in Ghana when a politician pays you to get him into office only
for you to pay him when he gets out of office

You know you are in Ghana when the Fire Service rushes to the scene of a fire
only to realise they have no water in the Fire tender to fight the fire

You know you are in Ghana when the Fire Service uses water to fight every kind
of fire

You know you are in Ghana when high rise buildings come up every month when we
do know the Fire Service cannot fight fire above four storeys

You know you are in Ghana when police cars with siren blarring are full of
people going to a wedding

You know you are in Ghana when the policeman asks you for the torchlight in your
car at 12 noon

You know you are in Ghana when the policeman gives you all the reasons why he
should not take you to court for a traffic offence

You know you are in Ghana when a customs officer who approachs you says, “$20 is
not enough because we all have to share”

You know you are in Ghana when a 60 year old man is introduced as the Chairman
of the Asikuma Youth Association

You know you are in Ghana when the toll booth on the motorway is closed for
maintenance at 7 am

You know you are in Ghana when a motorway still continues being referred to as a
motorway when it has clearly become a street

You know you are in Ghana when a driver reverses on a motorway

You know you are in Ghana when prime time on radio is used to discuss the
meaning of an insult

You know you are in Ghana when a person uninterested in a political position
still stands for elections due to the pressure of the masses

You know you are in Ghana when the time a person graduates from a tertiary
institutions, he would have gone through five graduations, the first one at the
prime age of five years

You know you are in Ghana when the Head of State states that religious leaders
have more power and authority than he has

You know you are in Ghana when annointing oil develops a flash point lower than
most combustible materials

You know you are in Ghana when the headline of a major newspaper has an error

You know you are in Ghana when the headline of a story is written a week before
the story develops and the two do not agree

You know you are in Ghana when herbalists weave their submissions with biblical
verses, even when the guy doesn’t believe the other parts of the bible

You know you are in Ghana when all alcoholic drinks are aphrodisiacs

You know you are in Ghana when a four year old asks: “Who put off the lights?
President Atta-Mills eh?”

You know you are in Ghana when nobody dies a natural death

You know you are in Ghana when the cab driver accelerates when the traffic light
is amber

You know you are in Ghana when drivers do a U-turn in the middle of a T-junction

You know you are in Ghana when a pastor can actually sit on radio and say he
will put a curse on someone for being insolent to him

You know you are in Ghana when someone feels insulted after asking him, “what do
you mean?”

You know you are in Ghana when a census enumerator asks you, “Your wife, is she
married?”

You know you are in Ghana when you hear names of football clubs like Asante
Akyem Weder Bremen, Gomoa Dominase Everton, Betomu Hull City,

Sefwi Wiaso Barcelona, Patase Milan

You know you are in Ghana when you are branded ‘too known’ for insisting the
right things must be done

You know you are in Ghana when you hear bus stops called ‘Basket’, ‘Potholes’,
Tiafiahe’

You know you are in Ghana when you need permission from land guards before you
build your house

You know you are in Ghana when the total cost of building a house includes the
cost of keeping a land guard

You know you are in Ghana when a person accuses another of corruption without
proof and insists the accused must provide evidence to show his innocence

You know you are in Ghana when a person is deemed guilty until he is proven
innocent

You know you are in Ghana when you laugh about serious issues to keep your
sanity

You know you are in Ghana when you laugh to prevent you from crying

You know you are in Ghana when you read this, shake your head and smile

Because you know, only in Ghana can you not have a dull day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nana Awere Damoah

Author, Through the Gates of Thought
(http://www.athenapress.com/book.php?ID=2997) / Excursions In My Mind
(www.athenapress.com/book.)
http://nanaaweredamoah.wordpress.com/php?ID=2693
http://www.excursionsinmymind.blogspot.com
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nana-Awere-Damoah/38014968940
email: nana.damoah@gmail.com

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